The last number of weeks have been pretty rough for me. With problem after problem constantly flooding each day with bombardment, it was hard to find a moment of peace to gasp for air. The confidence in what I do every moment of the day has been greatly diminished. It’s hard to trust your heart when regardless of your decisions, circumstances blot out the good intentions of it. Sometimes God puts in front of us unavoidable circumstances to test the resilience of our faith. The very little time given to actually sit down and think was strenuous and often felt aimless. That is why I chose to switch gears away from Revealing God’s Nature for a brief moment. I am mentally drained. A broken hammer cannot build a beautiful building. There is more wisdom in acknowledging certain times when you are not mentally, emotional or spiritually prepared for something than there is in trying to convince yourself and others that you are. I truly believe that God will use this outlet to touch the hearts of people in a whole new light if I remain faithful. But a strong tree can only grow up to it’s fullest potential when the proper time and energy is put into preparing the ground it is planted in.
Everyone has a dream, something that they want with all their heart to become a reality. But that dream is not going to become anything until you prepare the ground and plant the seed- this is the easy part. The part that the majority of people neglect is the hard work and effort that is needed to supplement the dream. After the seed is planted, time and faithful nourishment is required as the growing process continues.
I have found these last number of weeks very frustrating in all sorts of ways. I wanted so badly to write, but God prevented me from doing it once again. I wanted God to pour his wisdom upon me and enlighten me with his truth as I discovered more and more of who he was. I wanted my goal and dream to be accomplished in a timely manner according to my liking. I wanted blessing and approval from God, but he wanted patience and submission from me.
A day or two ago, my coach said something that really resonated with me. Many of us on the team have come to him with concerns and frustrations about our poor performances at Track meets. I felt the same way; its hard to keep doing something when the results don’t match up with the amount of labor you have put into it. I have kicked my butt for months and have not seen the kind of improvements that I would have liked. I have found myself doubting the quality of work that I have been doing and began to desire other methods of training. My coach brought up something called a “force velocity curve”, which highlighted the pattern of training he was having us do. He explained the importance of this process and how it maximizes our potential in the long run if followed properly. The rigorous process-while it may not be presently rewarding- is key to benefiting us when it counts the most to us in the future.
I have felt very similar frustration spiritually these past weeks as well. I haven’t felt any dramatic changes in my spiritual walk; I feel stale. These last couple of weeks have impaired my eyes to see the value of this process. I have been hammered spiritually at every turn. I am experiencing the “heavy lifting” of my spiritual walk. It takes a toll on my soul, but is required to see an abounding harvest at the proper time God has set apart for me. There is a hidden value to patience that the majority of the world has yet to discover.
One thing that really struck me about the training process is that breaking away from the pattern established will actually prolong and lessen the impact of the cycle. It is so easy to get frustrated with the way things are going on now and believe that something more is needed. We want results now! I want more people to hear me now! I want to run faster now! We get so caught up in the crosswinds of instant gratification and begin to look for unfulfilling shortcuts. Let’s say I do become a world-renown author. What good would I be for anyone if I don’t have a mind in the likeness of Christ. If God’s truth doesn’t flow through my writing, then I don’t want to be heard. God wants us to remain humble and faithful in the current position he has given us now. The farther out we try to reach on our own, the more likely we are to slip off the edge.
“God has a plan for your life“, you hear that saying all the time. Notice how it doesn’t say God has a point in which you reach the end of acquiring wisdom and knowledge in life. The plan God has for you is life-long. There is never a point where we should feel satisfied with our understanding of him. Just because you are not seeing the goal or dream in sight doesn’t mean you have reached the end of his plan. God has a drawn out process that is essential to our spiritual lives. It underlines what we see as both good and bad. You can’t get fast without first becoming strong. Trust the process; trust God’s promise to those who remain faithful in the rain. Embrace the rain and the sun as the growing process continues. As we wait in patience and faithfully grow according to God’s plan, we will begin to experience more and more of the Son’s light shining down on us.