Walls

When I picture a wall, I think of control or structure. Walls control things by keeping them either in or out. A wall can give a sense of security or a feeling of comfort. Imagine the walls of your house. They protect you from the harmful elements of the outside world. They keep the cold out and keep you warm within them. They give you solitude and privacy to come and get some space away from the hectic world. They provide a place for you to gather yourself together and escape from the noise. As much as I love to escape behind them every once and a while to recharge myself, the walls of my home can’t protect me from the battle going on inside. Some walls create protection and security. Others only create the illusion and do more harm then good. Some walls were never meant to be built and need to be broken down.

I have a wall built in my life that I never intended to make. Even writing this goes against what this wall intended to control. If I didn’t believe that Christ can use this wall to impact someone then I probably would never have begun taking it down piece by piece in this manner. This isn’t my typical blog post, but I know that there is someone who really needs to hear this message and it is because of the work Christ has been doing in my life that gives me confidence in that.

We all have walls built in our life. But the question is what walls did you establish, and what walls did God establish? That question is often really difficult to answer because God will even use the walls you established to grow you closer to him. But that doesn’t mean we are to embrace ignorance. When God points to a wall that doesn’t match up with his blueprint he has for the greatest version of you, take your hands off and let him do what he does best; redeem!

God has truly blessed me with an overwhelming peace in life. When times of hardship and stress come around, God has given me the gift of peace and self-control; the ability to handle difficult situations without overcompensating emotions . I can take no credit for that gift and blessing God has given to me. But I can take credit for the wall I created around my emotions. Ironically, in most cases it is our strengths, when left unchecked, that can turn into some of our greatest areas of weakness. Just like Adam and Eve in the garden; God created the blessing, man created the curse.

The blessing God gave me to control my emotions during hard times eventually slipped into my everyday life without me realizing it. I slowly began to express my emotions less and less for fear of getting hurt or becoming vulnerable.

As a brother, I love to embarrass and pick on my sisters… all the time! They are so easy to pick on! Yet, it is not the initial act of picking on them that motivates me to continue, it is the response they give to my jokes. When I see that I connected with a good response, I am encouraged to continue. That is also the case in negative situations. When people see that you were affected by them or something that happened to you, they will continue if that was their intention. Growing up, I leaned that fast and put my emotional strength to the test. But when that same emotional resilience plays a primary role in your everyday social and spiritual life, it is a nightmare.

How are you supposed to love when you can’t express it to others and show them that you truly care? How can you trust when the only thing you trust is the wall built around it? How are you supposed to grieve for a lost loved one when you can’t express sadness? You can’t! That wall doesn’t belong!

Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 8, 11 says,

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.  He has made everything beautiful in his time.

I find often that where we create walls in our life, God intends to make a field. Areas of strength God has given to us as blessings don’t need artificial protection. They are God’s gifts from start to finish. We should never try to control them. They need to be tended to as you would a garden or a field of crops. But the majority of the work happens outside our control. Everything is made beautiful in his time. A wall, no matter how big or dressed up, will never be as beautiful as a field that will continually reap blessings for others. Walls are built upon pride and selfishness. They don’t help or reach out to anyone. They prohibit and provoke only fear.

2 Timothy says,

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

We don’t need walls in our life to keep things under control. God has given us the Holy Spirit to live within us. That is what gives us power to live confidently. The world will never know what you have for them if you keep it walled inside. Live for something greater than yourself. Take the walls down. Don’t hide who you are. We were created for closeness and intimacy. That is where real life change happens. Let God use ALL of who you are because he only wants ALL of you!